Love. Most people have been in it right? At least once? Hopefully! Whether it be puppy love or the real deal. The finish-each-other-sentences, the twitterpated, toe tingling, gushy, mushy, butterflies. LOVE. Something I have noticed coming from both sides of the fence, everyone WANTS it. Some don’t and won’t admit it. But those people who say things like “Gag-get a room!” or “So annoying everyone is all in love around me, I hate it!” or “Valentines Day is a stupid holiday!” are all people who truly want to be in love but are just not in a place in their lives where that will happen. Those are the women who really want flowers sent to them on Valentines Day and men who really want a woman to kiss in public. They won’t meet someone for multiple reasons, but one of them being they are too jaded. They think all men are scum, all women are sluts, or they think there is just not the right person out there for them. Those of course are very blanket statements. We all know plenty of women who are not sluts. I know plenty of men who are not scum. I view it as this: anything that you keep putting out their in the universe will not happen because you are not allowing it to. If you keep saying “I will never lose the weight.” You are right- you won’t. If you keep saying “I will never meet a girl right for me.” You are right, you won’t. I have been divorced for almost ten years. In this time I have never taken the “All men are douchebags!” frame of mind. I have always believed that somewhere out there I would meet the man who was meant for me. Granted there were a few really TOUGH heartbreaks where I thought maybe I was meant to be single for the rest of my life. Thank goodness those were brief. I have dated a LOT of men who make the rest of the men on this earth look like real gems. I have dated a man who on the first (and last!) date stood back and looked me up and down and said “I could so impregnate you!” I have dated a man who thought it was ok to show up early and buy his food and not even wait for me (so he wouldn't have to pay for mine), or go “dutch” on one beer. I have dated a man who thought it was okay to leave me downtown at midnight after pouring 32 ounces of water on me for no reason. (His reason...he BIT me and was mad I didn’t think it was funny.) I have attempted to date a man who thought it was okay to ask me If I was into threesomes before we even met. We never met. I have dated a man who thought it’s perfectly okay to own 32 pets and let chinchillas run around the house pooping wherever they wanted to. I have dated a man who stole my identity and opened a credit card and cell phone in my name, and wrote checks that he stole from my check book. I put him in jail for 4 years, and of course posted his pic on www.dontdatehimgirl.com. I have dated a man who thought I was cheating on him because I didn't answer my phone for one hour and called me 18 times and sent me over 100 text messages. All while I was in a store printing out pictures to make him a scrapbook for Christmas. (I broke up with him, never wasted my time making said scrapbook.) I have been date raped. I HAVE EVERY REASON TO NOT BELIEVE TRUE LOVE EXISTS. Why I never gave up I don’t know. I just have always been an optimist. Cup half full. Silver lining! If I can still believe in love so can you and your bitter jaded heart.
I posted a question on Facebook asking my friends if they had ever been in true love. I had about 50 comments and out of all of those maybe 5 said no. One thing that surprised me with a few people sent me private messages saying that their true love was not their spouse. So sad. But I think that yes we all have been in love at least once, and if we haven’t we maybe are still holding out hope? I think nowadays with instant husband picking (ie:online dating) people are so quick to dismiss someone for little ridiculous things like “he had crooked teeth” or “she had bad skin.” It is quite sad really. I myself used to be like that until I had dated enough douchebags to just want a guy who treated me like I deserve to be treated. But now I know there is no such thing as unconditional love with another person. With your child you will always love them. Even if they committed some heinous crime they are still your child and you will still love them. With a S/O you put conditions on them whether or not you like to realize it or not. We need to learn to just love no matter what. No one is perfect. No one will ever be that perfect person for you. But there is someone who you can make it work with. There is someone who will come awfully close. There is someone who will make you feel like it’s going to be alright even in the darkest of times.
I don’t believe there's only one person out there for each person, but I do believe you can meet someone that it just clicks. It just feels right. It is all those stupid cliches of “When you know you know” and “He completes me” and,” When you meet someone you will understand why it didn’t work out with anyone else.”
So before you make rash judgments against someone whose only crime is being happily in love- think about that just maybe they have had a REALLY HARD LONG ASS road and maybe they deserve to be happy. Just because you are in a place in your life where you think all men suck does not mean that anyone wants to hear about it. Stop being so negative all the time. Get out in the world, take a walk, meet new people. Eat a flipping donut for Pete’s sake. NO ONE LIKES Bitter Betties and Pissy Pams. NO man or woman in the world has said “ Oh that girl Sarah she’s so bitter it's hot!” be the kind of person you want to meet. The world needs more people who are happy and in love. So try attracting that into your life. Let’s face it-we all want love. The world needs more love. So spread love wherever you go and do your best to not crash on other people’s lovey dovey parades because you do not know the road they have traveled to get where they are today. And in the words of my honey “ More love is always the answer.”Peace, Love, and Namaste Bitches!