In a few minutes I'm going to have to tell my boys that I broke up with my boyfriend. This wouldn't be such a big deal if he didn't have kids that were their ages that they have played with every other weekend for the past 9 months. I'm not looking forward to it. I just pray that it will make them be stronger boys, tougher and that the sorrow won't last too long. I've cried enough the past 3 days, its enough to last me a lifetime. I loved that man very much. It is so hard when you know you are making the right choice, but that your "choice" is something that is going to hurt your little ones, and his little ones. It was not an easy decision, but one that took me a lot of nerve and strength. I think the time alone with my boys will be a good growing/bonding experience for us/them but the initial shock will be very difficult. Or at least I am planning it to be that way if they react better then I think, it will be so much easier.
When you make a decision that is hard and painful, but there is a drive inside you that says, this is the right thing to don't back down now, you know in your heart of hearts it was the right thing to do! No matter how good he treated me or how many wonderful things he did for me, bottom line it was not a healthy relationship and I only want what is best for me and my boys. He has since put the icing on the cake as far as solidifying in my mind I made the right decision. Lord help me!