Monday, July 20, 2009

Tales from online dating H-E-double hockeysticks!

At what point or age do you get to, do you realize ahead of time what you are doing is not beneficial to your quality of life? At what point do you say enough is enough? How much do i have to be a glutton for punishment in the bad date hall of fame?
For example, I continually go on dates where I know ahead of time even without meeting them, that its like 90% of a sure chance that this someone that is most likely not my type. I always have this stupid little voice go "What if he is better looking in person?" or "What if he turns out to be your prince charming?" or "Maybe he can talk better then he spells?"....ha ha uh ha.
I could say that I know the chances of me finding my Mr. Right or Mr. Right now on the Internet are slim to none. But then again, I look at Derek and Miss Vikki Leigh!!! They are smitten! So I guess I am not giving up completely.
I mean even though there was the "black midget" who practically stalked me! (who after one date would have married me, and I knew the second I saw him it would never work, learned my lesson on meeting someone with no pics!) and the "19 pet guy". Yes folks 19 pets! Um that's kind of a deal breaker!!! WOW! 19 pets why oh why???
Then there was the guy who on the third (yes i said third!!!) date, got quite inebriated and left me downtown at midnight alone, after biting my shoulder (not a love bite either) and dumping an entire glass of water on me! He came back to pick me up, after I'd already given up on him, and found my friends to hang out with and get a ride home.Then after getting his friend a bartender to give us a ride home, he farted on me, poured water on me and smacked me on the butt. Needless to say, there was not so much as a phone call let alone a fourth date! I "broke" it off with him through my my space "status!" Never so quickly have I raced to change the "in a relationship" to "single!" Hey, if you met on the net, you can break up on the net!!And to think that was a business man!!! In the business of not knowing how to treat a woman!
Then there was the "metro-sexual" who had a pot of melon flavoured lip gloss. If a guys lips taste better then mine...Houston we've got a problem! Need I say more?
I really won't go on with the risk of just looking like a floozy. Ha....I've had so many bad "one dates" I should have given up long ago! What is the point of writing this other then to give myself and a few others some giggles at my dating catastrophes? :-)I keep swearing I should write a book. I was originally thinking "How to Not meet the Man of your dreams on the Internet!" and have been hoping that I should change the title to "How TO meet the man of your dreams on the Internet!" I've been on just about every dating website there is. I know which ones are cool, and I know how to write the proper profile.
I had a profile on a certain site, that I thought, u know I'm going to make some changes, and see what happens. Apparently I can write a well-written profile (well i had some cute new pics too) because in about 4 hours time I got 18 new emails! So all that to say its fun, having the pick of all the online shopping for a husband ha ha ha. But in all of those emails, maybe two out of eighteen were men that even piqued my interest. And of course wouldn't ya know as my luck would have it, those two lived over two hours away!!! I'm still not giving up. I keep thinking that if God wanted me to meet someone maybe he would just pop them into my life. But then a few weeks of me spending Friday nights at the gym or sitting in a chair reading a Barnes and Noble go by, and I get restless. Which, there is nothing wrong with those things, just enough to put a cute single girl into a mild depression!!!!
Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine said the guy wasn't spongeworthy? Well I too have had that epiphany. Only mine wasn't in forms of birth control lol. Mine was "he wasn't worth my Bare Minerals...":-)

To the single mom thinking of getting a puppy:

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

DON'T! Ive had 4 hermit crabs 4 or 5 fish, two hamsters, and a bird. All of which are now dead, no fault of mine. :-) I think. lol.... We tried a puppy 3 years ago, and couldn't handle it. Thought it was because it was a healer mix, and nipped at our heels all the time, but all puppies do that apparently.I now have two cats which I think I have had three years. I just got a puppy about a month ago...and lordy the worst thing I could have ever done! Most of my time is spent cleaning up after pets, breaking up brawls between them, keeping the puppy trained.....oh my lordy exhausting....with a new job its overwhelming! SAY NO TO A PUPPY!!! Its worse then a newborn!
Here's just a small list of things destroyed by ROXY :-)
Nintendo Wire
Phone charger wire
Cable Wire
(now all wires are covered by foam)
library book
3 pairs of my Victoria Secret $7 each underwear!!
my king mattress egg crate mattress topper, now has giant sized chunks in the middle, where I tried to "puzzle" the pieces back in after she bit them!
She's chewed through 2 leashes,
and I have 4 or 5 shirts or dresses that have holes from her teeth!!
and lots of flip flops and other lil things!
Chewed on the legs to my dining room table, which is less
then a year old!
Um OK...update, she chewed up the wire to a box fan,
peed on my ottoman, Chewed some Tupperware!!!
as of right now I'm typing ..board that has um about 20 keys chewed off k s hard to type!!!
RRRR I'm so over the puppy phase!

Blackberry Picking Y'all!

Originally posted on myspace Sunday, July 27, 2008
life....childhood memories Category: Life
Its funny how no matter busy or chaotic your life is, you can take part of something that just makes you stop and enjoy the moments of life. This something for me, was as simple as taking my boys to do something that I did growing up as a little girl in the hills of Northern California. Blackberry picking! We would go blackberry every summer, me my sister Becca, Sam, Cecily, Michael, Janine and sometimes Nico. Our moms would give us Tupperware containers and we would hike what felt like miles (could have been one, I have no clue now!) and go down to the little wooden bridge and pick till our fingers bled. It always seems like the juiciest plumpest ones, were growing just beyond reach, and If you were daring enough you would risk the skin of your legs and arms and hands getting jagged scratches from the thorns to reach the king size one of them all! We would have purple fingers, purple mouths and be as happy as could be. It was such a fun time...On the way back, which was harder will full containers, that would not as full but by the time we got home,we would play this little game. For some reason we would push the envelope of cussing too, it wasn't quite kid would say "Shi" and the other one would giggle and say "it" and then another one would say "shit" and would would laugh....and we couldn't tell on each other for cussing, cause we all did it!So yesterday myself, my two boys and three next door neighbor girls took our puppy for a walk, and on the way back, we stopped at a park and found a huge blackberry patch. We after tasting them, decided we had to run home and get containers! We then ran home, and got Ziploc and picked and picked....the kids had so much fun. It was too cute, Sloane, the youngest of the group, said at least twice, the is the most fun I have ever had. :-) So after our fingers had bled, and our bags were full, we went home, and I baked the best blackberry cobbler I have ever had! I think it might have even been better then my mama's!! YUM! I also made homemade ice much for my diet....oh well life is too short to not enjoy free berries in your back yard!! Happy Pickin ya'all!

Don't worry be happy!

Originally posted on Myspace 9/27/08
Two weeks ago I went to a service at our church called Inversion; it's a younger 20-30's type group. I've been going to my church for two years and never gone, thinking it was not really for people who have had kids and been divorced. My friend Carrie talked me into it, and she wasn't able to make it that night, but I still went. I figured before I met Carrie I always sat by myself at church anyway, what's different about this one night? The service was good, nothing spectacular. But then the pastor kind of threw out a verse and immediately it felt like I got hit between the eyes and the tears started rolling! I got up this morning and decided to read the passage myself. And again the tears were rolling. I think I have probably read the passage many times but never really really delved into what God was saying. This point in my life it might as well have said "Julie I told you…."
Here it is: Matthew 6:23-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away food in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"

I know that we are more important than birds…but that whole thought! God knows whats in our bank account (or what's not in there ) he in knows if our fridge is bare or what bills are due. I kept saying I'm praying for patience and when talking to a friend last night, he pointed out that maybe it wasn't patience I was needing it was TRUST. I need to trust God that he knows the desires of my heart, how I just want to provide for my boys and be a good mom. It is hard to be a good calm peaceful mom when you are worried about where that next tank of gas is going to come from.
I am very excited about my new job. I kept praying (everyone around me has been praying) that I would find full time and I have! It's not just full time, it's more then I could have ever asked for! It's financially the best job I will have ever had, benefits after 30 days! I'm blessed! I can't say I trusted Him like I should have( I worried my pretty little head off until this morning!) but I do have a enormous amount of peace about my life in a way that I can't say I ever have before. And that is saying a lot, because these past few weeks I have been literally at the bottom of a barrel and I'm climbing out!!

Just wanted to share that with ya!