Originally posted on Myspace 9/27/08
Two weeks ago I went to a service at our church called Inversion; it's a younger 20-30's type group. I've been going to my church for two years and never gone, thinking it was not really for people who have had kids and been divorced. My friend Carrie talked me into it, and she wasn't able to make it that night, but I still went. I figured before I met Carrie I always sat by myself at church anyway, what's different about this one night? The service was good, nothing spectacular. But then the pastor kind of threw out a verse and immediately it felt like I got hit between the eyes and the tears started rolling! I got up this morning and decided to read the passage myself. And again the tears were rolling. I think I have probably read the passage many times but never really really delved into what God was saying. This point in my life it might as well have said "Julie I told you…."
Here it is: Matthew 6:23-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away food in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
I know that we are more important than birds…but that whole thought! God knows whats in our bank account (or what's not in there ) he in knows if our fridge is bare or what bills are due. I kept saying I'm praying for patience and when talking to a friend last night, he pointed out that maybe it wasn't patience I was needing it was TRUST. I need to trust God that he knows the desires of my heart, how I just want to provide for my boys and be a good mom. It is hard to be a good calm peaceful mom when you are worried about where that next tank of gas is going to come from.
I am very excited about my new job. I kept praying (everyone around me has been praying) that I would find full time and I have! It's not just full time, it's more then I could have ever asked for! It's financially the best job I will have ever had, benefits after 30 days! I'm blessed! I can't say I trusted Him like I should have( I worried my pretty little head off until this morning!) but I do have a enormous amount of peace about my life in a way that I can't say I ever have before. And that is saying a lot, because these past few weeks I have been literally at the bottom of a barrel and I'm climbing out!!
Just wanted to share that with ya!