Signs you shouldn't be with him...

Kandee gave me an idea....Ten signs that he is not worth your love and affection:

10:) When the guy you are seeing says "I am not emotionally ready for a relationship" which really means "i just want to get laid and not have to worry about strings attached!" So ladies listen to him and keep on moving! What he is really saying is " I have the maturity of a 13 year old but since I told you beforehand its ok if I treat you like crap."

9.) When he says one thing and does another. Actions speak louder than words, he can tell you till he is blue in the face what he wants to do for you and with you, if he doesn't do them, but only makes empty promises, then that is all they are empty promises. Case and point, the man who kept promising me he would make it up to me after repeatedly canceling on me. When I finally gave him a chance he was so rude, I should have got up and walked out. But it was worth waiting for the filet :) Which brings me to the next number...

8.) If he is rude or mean to you before you are an item, he will be after. You having a commitment with him will not turn him into an angel. The dude who canceled on me to go hunting (20 minutes before the date) also had no problem answering his phone in the first 5 minutes of our first date to talk about hunting.

7.)  He spends the whole first half of the date not talking until you get him talking about something he is passionate about: sewing! Not just any sewing but making a quilt out of Crown Royal bags. You can't make this stuff up people!

6.) If you find out that he either still lives at home with his parents or  his ex, "But you don't have a problem with that right?" still married or lies about something important about how many times (because 2 ex wives and 3 kids are so close to one ex and one kid!) he was married or how many kids he has,  keep on fishing!

5.) If you think "He's too good to be true he probably is!" I knew he was too good when he was scrubbing my bathroom floor, that should have been my first sign !(Not that men don't clean, but that's just not normal!) Police telling me he had a rap sheet a mile long helped...If you suspect something is fishy it probably is. God gives us intuitions for a reason and until you learn to listen to them every time you will continue to end up in compromising or difficult positions. So instead of ignoring that nagging feeling that something was "off" you could be filling out a police report. I did both.

4.)  He lets you pay for a large dinner without so much as batting an eyelash or saying a peep. Any man who truly loves you won't leave you strapped for cash, hanging when the tab comes, or late on a bill because he couldn't put you first.

3.) He calls you, texts you 24/7 and checks up on you to see if you are where you say you are, goes through your phone and accuses you of having too many guy friends. A guy that is this paranoid is this way because he has cheated before and he knows what signs to look for!  Also on the same lines, if a girl warns you about a guy, run! Most girls aren't going to go out of their way to let you know how crazy a guy is unless he is really crazy!

2.) A man who every time you roll over he is wide awake. If a man can't sleep 24/7 is because he is trying to keep his stories/lies straight. I had this happen to me, and a friend had it happen to her, both men we dated were pathological liars. A truthful man can sleep at night...There could be an occasional case of insomnia but every night is another story!

1.) The number one sign you should stay away: If he says "pound" or "impregnate" and is talking about what he wants to do to you and it's your first date RUN!

Unleashing the Crazy!

So this morning I am listening to my favorite morning show on the way to work. Kid Kraddick! LOVE IT! They were discussing an interview with Katy Perry and her concert the night before. Apparently Katy asked a couple in the audience how long they had been dating. They said nine months. She said "ohhh has she unleashed the crazy on you yet?" and it cracked me up. It made me think about how every relationship you get to a point where the other person does something that may seem a little crazy. Either you still love them enough to brush it aside or you go "whoa, that is a red flag!" Well, unfortunately I keep dating types that have had many crazy moments, that I put up with. I am sure i unleashed a little crazy on him. He unleashed the crazy the second month we were dating (not to mention the fact that I had a girl WARN me about him) and I stayed 9 months! OMG! WHY??? Why do I have to learn things the hard way, I mean come on, really! I'm 31 going to be 32 in less then 3 weeks. So I went to therapy today, and its the first time I've seen my therapist since my divorce. It was reassuring to hear him say yes, my ex boyfriend could use some sort of professional help! I didn't spice any stories up, or manipulate them in a way to make myself to look better. I told him straight facts. Its funny how you need a professional to prove to you what you already knew. He said that he had a neurosis. A obsession with trying to control my life. It's funny because I should have known when I was Googling terms like "manipulative" and "controlling boyfriend. " There were red flags from the very beginning. Red flags that I brushed under the carpet because he was so affectionate, and could fix anything and would do anything for me. I kept weighing the good with the bad, and of course in his mind he was only doing the things he was doing because he loved me. Well in my mind, and in actuality he was simply controlling every aspect of my life that he could. He did not want me to have a life without him Myspace, Facebook, or Twitter account, he did not want me to have any male friends (only one who was married). I did as best I could to make him happy. Then there came a point where it seemed like no matter what I did he was worried that I would cheat on him. I could not handle the constant scrutiny over nothing! I did nothing! Never even glanced at another guy! One of the final straws was him calling me in the middle of the night to cuss me out for getting a Twitter account! Then calls me an hour later (after I just fell asleep, and I have to get up at 5 mind you!) to ask if an former employee (who has a girlfriend) Facebooked me again! I already told him he hadn't!
The next day I just had the sickest feeling. I couldn't shake it. I started realizing that the crazy outweighed the good. I was reading a fellow blogger Alaina's page, and her line about being a single mom not having time to "dick around" as she put it, made me go, you know what my kids are involved and he's going to end up hurting us all even more if I don't end it now!
After I broke up with him my bestie guy friend Derek told me that with his newlywed wife, he knew she was the one, because he never doubted not even once. I want to have that. But for right now I just picked up a second job, since I am not going to be dating for a long time soon, I might as well pay off my debt!!! I'm gonna unleash the crazy on paying down my student loans!