Tuesday, July 26, 2011

I come from a long line of over exaggerators....

For as long as I can remember my dad would joke that we come from a long line of over exaggerators. Boy oh boy, do I joke about it, but as much as I hate to admit it, it's sooooooo true. I over think everything to the point of literally making myself sick because I am so worried about something. 9 times out of 10 it turns out to be nothing and I was worrying for nothing! I know there is somewhere this tiny fine line between listening to your intuition and over thinking things. Finding the balance is not easy.

How do you keep from worrying? Over thinking? Lately I am having to call my bestie about EVERYTHING. She's the new therapist since I am broke broke. Honestly If I could afford it I would go to therapy every week. There is something so incredibly amazeballs about being able to tell someone who is not your family or friend (who has to say those nice things) all your inner thoughts and they can't argue back, but just offer sound advice and listen. It's so funny how she can be so leveled headed about stuff, and then I go oh wow she was right.

:-) Maybe I should start calling her Dr. Mama because she is like a doctor and Mama all rolled into one.

On to a healthier note... (cause everyone likes a braggart, but after years of self loathing, and pity and battling with unhealthy eating yo-yo dieting etc...this is a big deal for me, wait for it....

I am eating the cleanest I have ever eaten. It feels awesome. I am also the skinniest I have been in oh 4 years. I also have triceps. I HAVE NEVER HAD TRICEPS BEFORE! Well at least I didn't know they were there! One of my goals in Weight Watchers, I wrote on a card way back in the beginning was to be able to wear shorts, and I have to say If I owned any I would be probably wearing them! The only ones I own are not suitable for outdoor use. Although I might have taken the trash out in them. Get your mind out of the gutter, they weren't Daisy Dukes they were pink polka dot boxers shorts. It’s not that I can't wear shorts its that I choose not too.
My over critical dad gave me a complex by one simple comment when I was 16. He said "You look good when you are wearing pants, because you have fat volley ball calves like I do." When he said this I was wearing a skirt. Kind of funny how 19 years later I still remember that comment. It really makes you think when you say something hurtful to someone, you can't take words back. In a court when the Judge says "Jury please disregard last comment" do they really? No they have heard it. It goes in that memory bank.
So while I am on my soapbox, parents be careful of your words (I am preaching to myself on this one) and like Dr. Phil says it takes 1000 "Atta girls" to erase a lifetime of hurt.
 I wear dresses, and flood pants, but not shorts. Sun dresses is about as short as I get, because I feel sexy in a sundress even if my calves are showing. But now that I have lost almost 20 lbs its made a WORLD of difference on my self esteem and just the way I see myself. So yay me!
 p.s when payday comes I might GASP go buy my first pair of shorts in literally like 5 years.This time I am not exaggerating. It's been so long since I bought shorts you would laugh when I showed you the ones I own. Fashion disaster.

 Go eat more veggies, love yourself a little bit more and practice more self love talk, more yoga, and more positive reinforcement to everyone around you. I promise your world will become a better place. Mine has. Even when I over think things! Peace, blessings, love and Namaste Bitches!

P.S.S. I found a blog yesterday that super dee duper inspired me to write more positive stuff then being what a blog is really about, a narcisstic way to get our thoughts out for the world to see...check it out here...fitnessista who I stole "amazeballs" from but I am pretty sure its originally from the superskinny perezhilton.

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