Thursday, July 28, 2011

What women really want...

I know there is the old “ Men are from Mars Women are from Venus” idea that men and women are so much different. But deep down inside we have the undying need to be loved. The need to know that someone else cares about us as much as much as we care about them. If it were only that easy. Men constantly do things that women don’t understand (why is it so hard to put down the commode seat! I don’t want to touch that!) Men might not ever understand us and our PMS…but somehow, someway many couples have made it years and years and still are happily married.
I recently picked up a copy of a book called “7 secrets of happy couples” while on an afternoon Barnes And Noble excursion. The 7 things were common sense that we should all already do with our significant others. But generally I think it would just go back to common sense, you know the old adage “Treat others as you want to be treated” etc.
Here it is guys, the basics! ( know obviously not EVERY woman feels this way, but I think MOST DO, correct me if I am wrong ladies!)

Every woman wants to feel small no matter what. So any time you want to tell us we look like we have lost weight etc…we welcome that. On the opposite end of that we know what we look like, we don’t need you to tell us we have gained weight, our butts look big, or need to lose 10 lbs. We know this.

Every woman wants to feel like her man can take control and stick up for her in a physical confrontation as well as in conversation if someone were to say something hurtful, degrading etc about us.

Even though we may be a bitch or have major pms we don’t like it when you call us out on that. For most woman an extra hug, quiet time for a bubble bath, you doing the dishes, or taking out the trash or taking the kids somewhere so we can read a book in peace will cure PMS and bitchiness. Try it. We know when we are PMS’y that we are irrational and cranky and cry for no reason. Just giving us space, or extra hugs and chocolate help! But calling us a bitch or saying a rude “Rawr “ snappy comment just makes us more moody.

Every woman wants her husband/ significant other to be proud of her and it never hurts for you to brag about us to anyone who will listen, whether it be the server or your friends. We will do the same about you!

We love it when you send us a sweet text or email just to “Good Morning Sweetheart” or “I love you beautiful” we could never get enough of those. To know that you are thinking of us as much as we are thinking of you makes our day.

On the flip side of that we don’t need you to be obsessed with where we are 24/7 via texting calling emailing etc…Somewhere in the middle it’s a fine line we know, but it’s possible!
Most girls love it when you hold doors open for them, pull chairs out for them, and maybe in a crowded room, you lead the way while holding our hand.

Just as most men want a woman who can cook, clean and have the same sex drive as them, women want a man who won’t whine when we want to watch a chick flick (and watch it with us!) who will do the dishes, laundry, organize getting a sitter and taking out us out for a special date just because.
When you ask how we are and we say “fine” we really aren’t. Fine means either A) I am too pissed to talk about it, ask me later, B) You should know, you did something, C) I don’t have enough energy to tell you the full story or D) I am gritting my teeth so hard ” fine” is the only word I can squish out.

When we want to talk its really that WE WANT TO TALK. Not that we want your advice or we want your input, or we want your opinions, we just want you to listen. Even if we ask for your advice, chances are we already know what we are going to do in solving our dilemma we just want your sympathy like “Oh hun, I am sorry your dealing with that, must be rough etc…“ type answers. That’s all. Just listen, nod and give a sympathetic grunt everyone once in a while.
Tone of voice is EVERYTHING, as well as sarcasm, this goes for in person and via text. Short one word texts or answers come across snippy or rude in person and text. Caps and lots of exclamations marks usually translate in super happy or super mad, so if you are not either clearly one of those please specify. One day they will come up with a sarcasm font.
Think about this: When talking to a baby when you raise your voice an octave and say even just the word >>“enter happy voice/font <>enter mean voice/ font<< “”LOVE!!!“ and furl your eyebrows and look mean as can be, the baby will start crying!

Just as we might if you say something that might not have been intended the way your tone intended it. The whole spoonful of sugar make the medicine go down thing works here, if you have something to say to us and say it in the most sweetest possible way, how can we be mad at you?

Keep your words soft and sweet, you may have to eat them.
We have the memory with the absorbance of a Shamwow.

The words that come out of your mouth cannot be taken back. Even with a gazillion apologies.
 I still remember when I was 15 and my Grandpa told me I was fat ( I weighed 40 lbs less than I do now, so you can figure out I was not fat, was also working out at the time!) I remember when some guy at Auburn Calvary Chapel told me I had thunder thighs when I was 11. I remember when I was told I would be hot if I lost 20-30 pounds (was also 40 lbs skinnier that I am now!!!) So If I can remember these things I am most likely NEVER going to forget that you may have mentioned I need to ____ fill in the blank here, lose weight, etc… Dr. Phil says every one has seven defining moments. I think women have like 7 defining phrases that people have said about us that hurt and we remember. Most of mine were about my weight. So maybe think about your answer when I ask "Does this make me look fat?"

If for some reason you are mad or upset about something we would much rather you say ”Give me a minute to collect my thoughts.” then saying something in anger that hurts both of us.

We love it when you make up a sweet pet name, nick name etc… that you only use just for us.

We love it when you remember our birthdays, and anniversaries and just because with sending us something at work. Everyone wants to be that one girl in the office who gets flowers, etc…

Bowling balls, garden hoses, and nose hair trimmers do not make good presents.

I am sure there are plenty more great topics I could address, there could be a part 2, part 3 etc…

Have a great night! Tell your loved ones right now that you love them and give them a big bear hug. You never know what could happen, in-between seeing them. Life is short, live it to the fullest!


  1. Great post! I sent the link to my husband. :)

  2. Jewel, this was amazing! You did a good job on it!