Namaste and
I wish for you a lifetime full of correct on the spot right on intuition that you don't ever ignore!!
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Intuition...
Intuition is a funny thing. I think it's something that appears strongly after one has kids. Mothers intuition. Mine has failed me a few times, but for the most part when I went with my gut feelings even when there was no medical evidence to support my initial feeling and then later my gut feeling proved to be right. If I could only give my dating life intuition the same attention as my mothers intuition. I mean take my date last week. Why did it take me telling my friend all the gory details of said dudes personality and once I said all of the things I was concerned about out loud realized that dude was not my type, kind of obnoxious, kind of rude, kind of perverted. And why oh why did I think I owed it to him to meet him and make sure in person that maybe there was one sliver of a chance that he wasn't the initial jerk I thought he might have been. I went. I was insulted more then once in the first 15 minutes, and if you know me, you know that I do not get offended easily. I couldn't have wrote that Dear John letter soon enough. In the past I might have dated the jerk for a while before coming to the realization that he was too much of a jerk and not enough nice guy, all the while making excuses for his behavior. But not anymore. Now it's just not worth my time. Right now the only thing that is worth my time, is my boys and my yoga practice. Speaking of which gotta go study, got a full day of YOGASTEPS Dristi tomorrow.
Namaste and
I wish for you a lifetime full of correct on the spot right on intuition that you don't ever ignore!!
Namaste and
I wish for you a lifetime full of correct on the spot right on intuition that you don't ever ignore!!
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
How are people meeting these days???
I won't do it. I refuse to get on an online dating site again. NEVER! Cross my heart hope to die, meet a man before I cry. I have had lots of dates from the internet, but in all truthfulness, in the past 8 years I have had in the very least 30 dates a year and in all 8 year combined, I have had a whole less then 10 dates that were from plain old meeting in person, friend of a friend etc...So if I refuse to meet a man on a dating website, and I rarely go out to bars, lately it's been like maybe once a week(which is way more than normal), and that's to the same old haunt and really what are the chances of meeting my future husband in a bar?? At the risk of not sounding desperate, HELP!!! How are people meeting these days?? Everyone at my church is married, at the gym all the guys have head phones in, and even when I make eye contact I don't get that feeling back...guys want to work out, not get oogled in the gym right? I've been told some guys can be very imtimidated and that they won't approach a a pretty woman...but come on!! What's a girl to do? I've been told the old adage "Once you stop looking you will find him." So I am stopping. Except at the gym. And church. That's it. Promise. Cross my heart hope to die, kiss me kiss me, before I cry. Thoughts? Suggestions?Love?
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Gavin
My baby. Sweet little thing. He has a story. A HUGE story. Where oh where to begin?? He has his own website. He doesn't even know anything about it. LOL. I was given the website by Vanderbilt Children's Hospital as a means of keeping our family and friends in the loop on what was going on with Gavin in his treatments. It was awesome, and I used it. Everyday I would write in the online journal. It kept me sane. I wrote all my innermost thoughts on there. Here is the link if you feel so inclined to read about what a mom deals with when her son is sick.A lot. Keep in mind that the website was way before there was Facebook and cool blogs like this one. If you don't feel like going there I will do a recap.
Gavin was born a normal healthy baby boy on April 7, 2001. We did not know anything was wrong with him until he was 6 months old. He caught a virus, but his condition (Cardiomyopathy) could have been caused by a virus or he could have been born with it, and it just took 6 months to show up. I took him to the Pediatrician three weeks in a row, and they kept saying nothing was wrong. 2ND week, they said he had a virus, nothing to do but give him Tylenol, one week and a whole bottle of Tylenol later, we were back at the Doctors, this time they did an X-ray and sent us to Vanderbilt. We were told that night, that he had Dilated Cardiomyopathy (which means enlarged heart)and that his heart was the size of a 17 year old males! We were also told he could need a heart transplant. They said they would give him drugs to hopefully shrink his heart. Eleven days later he was put on the heart transplant list. The medicines made him feel better, and his heart had not got any bigger, but had not gotten any smaller either. Nine days later he got a heart! Ten days later we were sent home, the day before Thanksgiving. He has done well after his transplant, only hospitalized twice for flu (just to make sure there was no rejection) and for routine tests, biopsies etc... He was doing fine until May 2004.He had been complaining of his belly hurting for a while, but it was never enough for him to want to take anything for it, or to lay down. We took him to the Doctor, first time they could not find anything wrong, second time, he was pale and dehydrated, so they sent us to Vanderbilt Children's hospital. After Cat scans, and ultrasounds and a lapropscopic (sp?) surgery and a myriad of tests he was diagnosed with Burkitt's Lymphoma. It is caused by the drugs he was taking to keep his body from rejecting the heart. There are only 4 or 5 different kinds of medicines he can take and they all cause cancer.
In 2006 Gavin was in pre-k and excelling well and loving it. All of the sudden we noticed his little nose started point up on the end. He looked like little Cindy Lou Hou from The Grinch who stole Christmas. I would touch it and squish it, and he would say " Mom stop it doesn't hurt" but I knew there was something wrong, it felt spongy. Not like normal cartilage of a nose should feel. We called the doctor and they sent us to a Ear Nose and Throat specialist. He did all sorts of tests and said yes it was our worst fear. CANCER. A fast growing cancerous tissue. The closest name to it they could come up with was Large diffuse B cell Lymphoma.
When Gavin was about to go into surgery, I asked him if he knew what they were going to do. He said" They are gonna go in there and get the Kleenex out!" I said "You put a Kleenex up your nose?" and he said "No! You said I had a fast growing tissue!" Out of the mouth of babes.
They did a biopsy and went in under his lip (from inside his mouth, there was no scarring visible from the outside) and scraped out as much as they could. Since they would have no way of knowing if they got all of the cancerous cells ,we still had to do chemo. Gavin had about six months of out patient chemo, which was way easier then the first round of cancer. He had a port put in (which is also called a central line, a more permanent IV for kids who are going to need lots of blood drawn and chemo etc..It keeps them from having to keep getting stuck with needles.) and we would go to Vandy once a week and they would hook him up to chemo, and he would get a infusion of chemo and then we would go home. Gavin was such a flirt, he would flirt with the nurses, and he really didn't have to much after affects. His hair thinned a tiny bit, and the doctors said he was not allowed to go to school, just so he wouldn't catch more illnesses.
Gavin always will get sicker easier then the rest of us. He also keeps the illness a lot longer then us. Has has had Pneumonia almost every winter since his heart transplant. Twice he was on a ventilator from complications to Pneumonia. Last February was one of the first that he did not get Pneumonia.
As one could imagine having a child that has had a heart transplant, and cancer twice, pneumonia too many times to count, it takes it toll. I live in a fear that every time Gavin gets a fever, that its his body is rejecting the heart. In fact we have to call Cardiology every time he gets a fever higher then 100.2. Sometimes I feel like we are sitting in a ticking time bomb just waiting the hear the bomb explode again, "Your son has cancer, or pneumonia, or fill in the blanks." I have an older son Jonah that has never broken a bone, I think maybe had blood drawn a whole 3 times in his life. Gavin has been stuck with more needles than you can imagine. When he first came home from the transplant, he had to get blood drawn twice a week, to check for levels. Until he was a year, they would draw blood out of a vein in his head! This is a normal procedure, hard to see, which is why they would not let parents be in the room when they did this. When he hit one year, they would draw the blood out of his legs or arms. It wasn't unheard of for them to try 5 or 6 times before they found a vein. Chemo shrinks your veins, and the poor baby barely ever cries now when he has to get blood drawn.
For now Gavin is healthy. He has to have a heart cath on June 15th 2010. Which it is considered "routine" but when they are taking a piece of your child's heart out, its never routine!
If you are interested in reading more about Gavin, I journaled almost daily while he was in the hospital, it was my sanity, there was lots of pictures posted and day by day updates.http://home.gofetch.org/home/gavinblack
For now Gavin is healthy. He has to have a heart cath on June 15th 2010. Which it is considered "routine" but when they are taking a piece of your child's heart out, its never routine!
If you are interested in reading more about Gavin, I journaled almost daily while he was in the hospital, it was my sanity, there was lots of pictures posted and day by day updates.http://home.gofetch.org/home/gavinblack
The quest to find my Mr. Bad-Boy-Nice-Guy....does he even exist?
I don't get men. Boys. Whatever they are...They say they are looking for Ms. Right. But then they email me with shallow I only wanna get laid things like and I kid you not in a second email (and the first being nothing but "Beautiful") was -"What are you doing tomorrow, you me, your house, bottle of wine and the NCAA tourney!" Really???? WTH?? That's what frigging sports bars are for, smart one.
Or the "I just wanna snuggle" guy. Yeah sure. You just wanna snuggle. Uh huh. I believe ya.
Then there is the "I have way too many girls on my Facebook bad boy", who likes me, but just not enough. And deep down I know he is too much of a bad boy, not enough nice guy in him. If there was enough nice guy in him, he wouldn't have answered his phone and texted people (and by "people" we know its women who he still keeps in the running’s ) in the first 15 minutes of our second date.
I know there is no such thing as the perfect man. But really I only have a list of about ten things. About five of those ten things, are non-negotiable. Like No drugs, no prior jail time, no history of violence. You know the usual, decent hygiene, belief in God, yada yada. The rest are things I can, will and have dated outside of my” usual" preferences, knowing that men aren’t perfect. Like dating men who are 5 foot 10, or just too close to the under 6 foot mark. Yikes. Or bald. Double yikes. Not that I have anything against the follically challenged or vertically challenged (going all pc on ya) Or who wear Rustler jeans on a regular basis. I didn't know they still make those. I think all school bullies wore those. I am not a snob. Really. I just know what I like. He doesn't have to wear Tru Religion jeans or anything and as a side note, I refuse to date any man who wears Affliction, Ed Hardy or anything of that sort...because we all know Jon Gosselin started that douche-wearing- style.No thanks.
Or the "I just wanna snuggle" guy. Yeah sure. You just wanna snuggle. Uh huh. I believe ya.
Then there is the "I have way too many girls on my Facebook bad boy", who likes me, but just not enough. And deep down I know he is too much of a bad boy, not enough nice guy in him. If there was enough nice guy in him, he wouldn't have answered his phone and texted people (and by "people" we know its women who he still keeps in the running’s ) in the first 15 minutes of our second date.
I know there is no such thing as the perfect man. But really I only have a list of about ten things. About five of those ten things, are non-negotiable. Like No drugs, no prior jail time, no history of violence. You know the usual, decent hygiene, belief in God, yada yada. The rest are things I can, will and have dated outside of my” usual" preferences, knowing that men aren’t perfect. Like dating men who are 5 foot 10, or just too close to the under 6 foot mark. Yikes. Or bald. Double yikes. Not that I have anything against the follically challenged or vertically challenged (going all pc on ya) Or who wear Rustler jeans on a regular basis. I didn't know they still make those. I think all school bullies wore those. I am not a snob. Really. I just know what I like. He doesn't have to wear Tru Religion jeans or anything and as a side note, I refuse to date any man who wears Affliction, Ed Hardy or anything of that sort...because we all know Jon Gosselin started that douche-wearing- style.No thanks.
Enough about fashion and back to the nice guy. He's awesome. Been a bachelor for way to long, but still knows how to treat a woman. Could use a little tune up in the beard/hair/wardrobe, but nothing that a shopping trip or barber couldn't’t fix. In the words of my mother, when she showed me picture of a man she wanted to date a man who had a molest-stache (thanks Robert!) or the TomSelleck Stache and I quote my mom: "But that can be removed!" in a super happy voice. Speaking of removing the molest-stache, I actually had a man shave his molest-stache for me. I didn't ask him too, and he didn't even get a date. Poor man. Back to Nice guy. I have dated enough losers to know that this guy might be worth hanging in there for. I guess the whole he had been single for so long kinda scared me away. But with a little help from a friend and pink roses :-) i did it...I took the plunge and we've been together for 3 months now...It took me 3 months to edit and publish this post! Geeze! I am a happy woman, happy to be done dating losers.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Monday, July 20, 2009
Tales from online dating H-E-double hockeysticks!
At what point or age do you get to, do you realize ahead of time what you are doing is not beneficial to your quality of life? At what point do you say enough is enough? How much do i have to be a glutton for punishment in the bad date hall of fame?
For example, I continually go on dates where I know ahead of time even without meeting them, that its like 90% of a sure chance that this someone that is most likely not my type. I always have this stupid little voice go "What if he is better looking in person?" or "What if he turns out to be your prince charming?" or "Maybe he can talk better then he spells?"....ha ha uh ha.
I could say that I know the chances of me finding my Mr. Right or Mr. Right now on the Internet are slim to none. But then again, I look at Derek and Miss Vikki Leigh!!! They are smitten! So I guess I am not giving up completely.
I mean even though there was the "black midget" who practically stalked me! (who after one date would have married me, and I knew the second I saw him it would never work, learned my lesson on meeting someone with no pics!) and the "19 pet guy". Yes folks 19 pets! Um that's kind of a deal breaker!!! WOW! 19 pets why oh why???
Then there was the guy who on the third (yes i said third!!!) date, got quite inebriated and left me downtown at midnight alone, after biting my shoulder (not a love bite either) and dumping an entire glass of water on me! He came back to pick me up, after I'd already given up on him, and found my friends to hang out with and get a ride home.Then after getting his friend a bartender to give us a ride home, he farted on me, poured water on me and smacked me on the butt. Needless to say, there was not so much as a phone call let alone a fourth date! I "broke" it off with him through my my space "status!" Never so quickly have I raced to change the "in a relationship" to "single!" Hey, if you met on the net, you can break up on the net!!And to think that was a business man!!! In the business of not knowing how to treat a woman!
Then there was the "metro-sexual" who had a pot of melon flavoured lip gloss. If a guys lips taste better then mine...Houston we've got a problem! Need I say more?
I really won't go on with the risk of just looking like a floozy. Ha....I've had so many bad "one dates" I should have given up long ago! What is the point of writing this other then to give myself and a few others some giggles at my dating catastrophes? :-)I keep swearing I should write a book. I was originally thinking "How to Not meet the Man of your dreams on the Internet!" and have been hoping that I should change the title to "How TO meet the man of your dreams on the Internet!" I've been on just about every dating website there is. I know which ones are cool, and I know how to write the proper profile.
I had a profile on a certain site, that I thought, u know I'm going to make some changes, and see what happens. Apparently I can write a well-written profile (well i had some cute new pics too) because in about 4 hours time I got 18 new emails! So all that to say its fun, having the pick of all the online shopping for a husband ha ha ha. But in all of those emails, maybe two out of eighteen were men that even piqued my interest. And of course wouldn't ya know as my luck would have it, those two lived over two hours away!!! I'm still not giving up. I keep thinking that if God wanted me to meet someone maybe he would just pop them into my life. But then a few weeks of me spending Friday nights at the gym or sitting in a chair reading a Barnes and Noble go by, and I get restless. Which, there is nothing wrong with those things, just enough to put a cute single girl into a mild depression!!!!
Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine said the guy wasn't spongeworthy? Well I too have had that epiphany. Only mine wasn't in forms of birth control lol. Mine was "he wasn't worth my Bare Minerals...":-)
For example, I continually go on dates where I know ahead of time even without meeting them, that its like 90% of a sure chance that this someone that is most likely not my type. I always have this stupid little voice go "What if he is better looking in person?" or "What if he turns out to be your prince charming?" or "Maybe he can talk better then he spells?"....ha ha uh ha.
I could say that I know the chances of me finding my Mr. Right or Mr. Right now on the Internet are slim to none. But then again, I look at Derek and Miss Vikki Leigh!!! They are smitten! So I guess I am not giving up completely.
I mean even though there was the "black midget" who practically stalked me! (who after one date would have married me, and I knew the second I saw him it would never work, learned my lesson on meeting someone with no pics!) and the "19 pet guy". Yes folks 19 pets! Um that's kind of a deal breaker!!! WOW! 19 pets why oh why???
Then there was the guy who on the third (yes i said third!!!) date, got quite inebriated and left me downtown at midnight alone, after biting my shoulder (not a love bite either) and dumping an entire glass of water on me! He came back to pick me up, after I'd already given up on him, and found my friends to hang out with and get a ride home.Then after getting his friend a bartender to give us a ride home, he farted on me, poured water on me and smacked me on the butt. Needless to say, there was not so much as a phone call let alone a fourth date! I "broke" it off with him through my my space "status!" Never so quickly have I raced to change the "in a relationship" to "single!" Hey, if you met on the net, you can break up on the net!!And to think that was a business man!!! In the business of not knowing how to treat a woman!
Then there was the "metro-sexual" who had a pot of melon flavoured lip gloss. If a guys lips taste better then mine...Houston we've got a problem! Need I say more?
I really won't go on with the risk of just looking like a floozy. Ha....I've had so many bad "one dates" I should have given up long ago! What is the point of writing this other then to give myself and a few others some giggles at my dating catastrophes? :-)I keep swearing I should write a book. I was originally thinking "How to Not meet the Man of your dreams on the Internet!" and have been hoping that I should change the title to "How TO meet the man of your dreams on the Internet!" I've been on just about every dating website there is. I know which ones are cool, and I know how to write the proper profile.
I had a profile on a certain site, that I thought, u know I'm going to make some changes, and see what happens. Apparently I can write a well-written profile (well i had some cute new pics too) because in about 4 hours time I got 18 new emails! So all that to say its fun, having the pick of all the online shopping for a husband ha ha ha. But in all of those emails, maybe two out of eighteen were men that even piqued my interest. And of course wouldn't ya know as my luck would have it, those two lived over two hours away!!! I'm still not giving up. I keep thinking that if God wanted me to meet someone maybe he would just pop them into my life. But then a few weeks of me spending Friday nights at the gym or sitting in a chair reading a Barnes and Noble go by, and I get restless. Which, there is nothing wrong with those things, just enough to put a cute single girl into a mild depression!!!!
Remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine said the guy wasn't spongeworthy? Well I too have had that epiphany. Only mine wasn't in forms of birth control lol. Mine was "he wasn't worth my Bare Minerals...":-)
To the single mom thinking of getting a puppy:
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
DON'T! Ive had 4 hermit crabs 4 or 5 fish, two hamsters, and a bird. All of which are now dead, no fault of mine. :-) I think. lol.... We tried a puppy 3 years ago, and couldn't handle it. Thought it was because it was a healer mix, and nipped at our heels all the time, but all puppies do that apparently.I now have two cats which I think I have had three years. I just got a puppy about a month ago...and lordy the worst thing I could have ever done! Most of my time is spent cleaning up after pets, breaking up brawls between them, keeping the puppy trained.....oh my lordy exhausting....with a new job its overwhelming! SAY NO TO A PUPPY!!! Its worse then a newborn!
Here's just a small list of things destroyed by ROXY :-)
Nintendo Wire
Phone charger wire
Cable Wire
(now all wires are covered by foam)
library book
3 pairs of my Victoria Secret $7 each underwear!!
my king mattress egg crate mattress topper, now has giant sized chunks in the middle, where I tried to "puzzle" the pieces back in after she bit them!
She's chewed through 2 leashes,
and I have 4 or 5 shirts or dresses that have holes from her teeth!!
and lots of flip flops and other lil things!
Chewed on the legs to my dining room table, which is less
then a year old!
Um OK...update, she chewed up the wire to a box fan,
peed on my ottoman, Chewed some Tupperware!!!
as of right now I'm typing ..board that has um about 20 keys chewed off k s hard to type!!!
RRRR I'm so over the puppy phase!
DON'T! Ive had 4 hermit crabs 4 or 5 fish, two hamsters, and a bird. All of which are now dead, no fault of mine. :-) I think. lol.... We tried a puppy 3 years ago, and couldn't handle it. Thought it was because it was a healer mix, and nipped at our heels all the time, but all puppies do that apparently.I now have two cats which I think I have had three years. I just got a puppy about a month ago...and lordy the worst thing I could have ever done! Most of my time is spent cleaning up after pets, breaking up brawls between them, keeping the puppy trained.....oh my lordy exhausting....with a new job its overwhelming! SAY NO TO A PUPPY!!! Its worse then a newborn!
Here's just a small list of things destroyed by ROXY :-)
Nintendo Wire
Phone charger wire
Cable Wire
(now all wires are covered by foam)
library book
3 pairs of my Victoria Secret $7 each underwear!!
my king mattress egg crate mattress topper, now has giant sized chunks in the middle, where I tried to "puzzle" the pieces back in after she bit them!
She's chewed through 2 leashes,
and I have 4 or 5 shirts or dresses that have holes from her teeth!!
and lots of flip flops and other lil things!
Chewed on the legs to my dining room table, which is less
then a year old!
Um OK...update, she chewed up the wire to a box fan,
peed on my ottoman, Chewed some Tupperware!!!
as of right now I'm typing ..board that has um about 20 keys chewed off k s hard to type!!!
RRRR I'm so over the puppy phase!
Blackberry Picking Y'all!
Originally posted on myspace Sunday, July 27, 2008
life....childhood memories Category: Life
Its funny how no matter busy or chaotic your life is, you can take part of something that just makes you stop and enjoy the moments of life. This something for me, was as simple as taking my boys to do something that I did growing up as a little girl in the hills of Northern California. Blackberry picking! We would go blackberry every summer, me my sister Becca, Sam, Cecily, Michael, Janine and sometimes Nico. Our moms would give us Tupperware containers and we would hike what felt like miles (could have been one, I have no clue now!) and go down to the little wooden bridge and pick till our fingers bled. It always seems like the juiciest plumpest ones, were growing just beyond reach, and If you were daring enough you would risk the skin of your legs and arms and hands getting jagged scratches from the thorns to reach the king size one of them all! We would have purple fingers, purple mouths and be as happy as could be. It was such a fun time...On the way back, which was harder will full containers, that would not as full but by the time we got home,we would play this little game. For some reason we would push the envelope of cussing too, it wasn't quite blatant...one kid would say "Shi" and the other one would giggle and say "it" and then another one would say "shit" and would would laugh....and we couldn't tell on each other for cussing, cause we all did it!So yesterday myself, my two boys and three next door neighbor girls took our puppy for a walk, and on the way back, we stopped at a park and found a huge blackberry patch. We after tasting them, decided we had to run home and get containers! We then ran home, and got Ziploc and picked and picked....the kids had so much fun. It was too cute, Sloane, the youngest of the group, said at least twice, the is the most fun I have ever had. :-) So after our fingers had bled, and our bags were full, we went home, and I baked the best blackberry cobbler I have ever had! I think it might have even been better then my mama's!! YUM! I also made homemade ice cream....so much for my diet....oh well life is too short to not enjoy free berries in your back yard!! Happy Pickin ya'all!
life....childhood memories Category: Life
Its funny how no matter busy or chaotic your life is, you can take part of something that just makes you stop and enjoy the moments of life. This something for me, was as simple as taking my boys to do something that I did growing up as a little girl in the hills of Northern California. Blackberry picking! We would go blackberry every summer, me my sister Becca, Sam, Cecily, Michael, Janine and sometimes Nico. Our moms would give us Tupperware containers and we would hike what felt like miles (could have been one, I have no clue now!) and go down to the little wooden bridge and pick till our fingers bled. It always seems like the juiciest plumpest ones, were growing just beyond reach, and If you were daring enough you would risk the skin of your legs and arms and hands getting jagged scratches from the thorns to reach the king size one of them all! We would have purple fingers, purple mouths and be as happy as could be. It was such a fun time...On the way back, which was harder will full containers, that would not as full but by the time we got home,we would play this little game. For some reason we would push the envelope of cussing too, it wasn't quite blatant...one kid would say "Shi" and the other one would giggle and say "it" and then another one would say "shit" and would would laugh....and we couldn't tell on each other for cussing, cause we all did it!So yesterday myself, my two boys and three next door neighbor girls took our puppy for a walk, and on the way back, we stopped at a park and found a huge blackberry patch. We after tasting them, decided we had to run home and get containers! We then ran home, and got Ziploc and picked and picked....the kids had so much fun. It was too cute, Sloane, the youngest of the group, said at least twice, the is the most fun I have ever had. :-) So after our fingers had bled, and our bags were full, we went home, and I baked the best blackberry cobbler I have ever had! I think it might have even been better then my mama's!! YUM! I also made homemade ice cream....so much for my diet....oh well life is too short to not enjoy free berries in your back yard!! Happy Pickin ya'all!
Don't worry be happy!
Originally posted on Myspace 9/27/08
Two weeks ago I went to a service at our church called Inversion; it's a younger 20-30's type group. I've been going to my church for two years and never gone, thinking it was not really for people who have had kids and been divorced. My friend Carrie talked me into it, and she wasn't able to make it that night, but I still went. I figured before I met Carrie I always sat by myself at church anyway, what's different about this one night? The service was good, nothing spectacular. But then the pastor kind of threw out a verse and immediately it felt like I got hit between the eyes and the tears started rolling! I got up this morning and decided to read the passage myself. And again the tears were rolling. I think I have probably read the passage many times but never really really delved into what God was saying. This point in my life it might as well have said "Julie I told you…."
Here it is: Matthew 6:23-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away food in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
I know that we are more important than birds…but that whole thought! God knows whats in our bank account (or what's not in there ) he in knows if our fridge is bare or what bills are due. I kept saying I'm praying for patience and when talking to a friend last night, he pointed out that maybe it wasn't patience I was needing it was TRUST. I need to trust God that he knows the desires of my heart, how I just want to provide for my boys and be a good mom. It is hard to be a good calm peaceful mom when you are worried about where that next tank of gas is going to come from.
I am very excited about my new job. I kept praying (everyone around me has been praying) that I would find full time and I have! It's not just full time, it's more then I could have ever asked for! It's financially the best job I will have ever had, benefits after 30 days! I'm blessed! I can't say I trusted Him like I should have( I worried my pretty little head off until this morning!) but I do have a enormous amount of peace about my life in a way that I can't say I ever have before. And that is saying a lot, because these past few weeks I have been literally at the bottom of a barrel and I'm climbing out!!
Just wanted to share that with ya!
Two weeks ago I went to a service at our church called Inversion; it's a younger 20-30's type group. I've been going to my church for two years and never gone, thinking it was not really for people who have had kids and been divorced. My friend Carrie talked me into it, and she wasn't able to make it that night, but I still went. I figured before I met Carrie I always sat by myself at church anyway, what's different about this one night? The service was good, nothing spectacular. But then the pastor kind of threw out a verse and immediately it felt like I got hit between the eyes and the tears started rolling! I got up this morning and decided to read the passage myself. And again the tears were rolling. I think I have probably read the passage many times but never really really delved into what God was saying. This point in my life it might as well have said "Julie I told you…."
Here it is: Matthew 6:23-27
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away food in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"
I know that we are more important than birds…but that whole thought! God knows whats in our bank account (or what's not in there ) he in knows if our fridge is bare or what bills are due. I kept saying I'm praying for patience and when talking to a friend last night, he pointed out that maybe it wasn't patience I was needing it was TRUST. I need to trust God that he knows the desires of my heart, how I just want to provide for my boys and be a good mom. It is hard to be a good calm peaceful mom when you are worried about where that next tank of gas is going to come from.
I am very excited about my new job. I kept praying (everyone around me has been praying) that I would find full time and I have! It's not just full time, it's more then I could have ever asked for! It's financially the best job I will have ever had, benefits after 30 days! I'm blessed! I can't say I trusted Him like I should have( I worried my pretty little head off until this morning!) but I do have a enormous amount of peace about my life in a way that I can't say I ever have before. And that is saying a lot, because these past few weeks I have been literally at the bottom of a barrel and I'm climbing out!!
Just wanted to share that with ya!
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